Surprise!

OMG I'm SO EXCITED!

I guess the waiting paid off already........well, let me give you a little background story real quick.
I texted my buddy, that good friend almost like a brother I mentioned before...had to text cuz he's hard of hearing and it's easier for both of us that way...basically I find out that he's at my soul sister's apartment with her friend, whom I've met before. I asked if they had room for one more, and he says yes and comes to get me. When I get there...I see a familiar and very sexy face smiling at me. It's my guy!
My stupid self wasn't all there at that time, so I didn't do what I wanted to do. I just acted like it was a good surprise, which it was, and commenced with the hanging out and chattering. We didn't really touch base on anything, honestly I was just happy to see him. I wanted to rush into his arms and kiss him...I wanted so badly to kiss him, all night that's half of what I was thinking was something along the lines of "Good God, I want his lips on mine SO BADLY." Unfortunately, I didn't. He said he wanted to back up from the relationship n shyt so I backed up and acted as if we were just really good friends. It felt like we had gone back to day one, except for the fact that I already know him. Relationship-wise, it felt like we went back to day one. Then I find out he's staying there!

I must have done something extremely good while growing up, because karma blessed me with my guy. Honestly, the only way he could hurt me now is if he sleeps with my friend. In that case, I'll be singing Another Love Song to him. (Juggalos will know what I mean, but if you don't, then look it up. ICP - Another Love Song)

I did find out that he still loves me, though. He got a little stuffed kitty and at first named it Muffin. Well, this good friend like a brother of mine had given me his Sobe cap the night before. It said "SCORCH MUFFIN" on it, so I kept it. I told my guy that, and he declaired that Scorch Muffin is to be the kitty's name, and retrieved a marker to write it on the cat's tab (the one most all stuffed animals have by their butts...I have some stuffies of my own and I tagged all their names on their tags so as to not forget it later on...and he likes that idea so he started doing it, too). Well, he gave me the kitty to write the name on the tag, and I see on the kitty's ear, the tag that most people look at that says what kind of toy it is and who it's from and all that...his ex gave him the kitty. After I tagged kitty's name on the butt tag, he took off the other tags and said something along the lines of "there, that's better."
As minor as that may seem, it's the little things that really count, and that made me feel loads better. Of course, I could still see in his eyes that he loves me and what not, so I'm okay.

At least I know this isn't a suicide mission on his behalf.

I'm super excited, now! We can actually be together without worrying about his ex hanging over his shoulder! He was living with her in her roach-infested apartment. I don't know if he's out of his ex's place for good, but I know he's not there right now. That's some encouragement if there ever was any.

I shouldn't listen to doubts. Ever. No one should. You know that quote, "Expect the worst so you will never be dissapointed." Well...I know it works, but it's not worth it if what you expect will stress you out and stuff.

OH WELL! It's a splendoriffic surprise and the next time I see my guy, I'm kissing him. I don't know if I can see him again without kissing him. I think that was like, the only time I've seen him without at least hugging him...I mean, the first time we met, we made out...then didn't see eachother for like three years, almost. Even then, the next time we met, he was with his ex saying they were married n shyt...well, ok, she said they were, he denied it literally right behind her back...whatever, ya know? I didn't pay that much attention to it then. But the last time we met before going out...that was the day my life changed.

I know it sounds all romantico and novel-or-movie-esque...but that's how my life has felt since he walked in it. Well, okay, since he peeked around into it. We worked at a haunted house together. It had a huge clowny aspect to it, the haunted house did, and I'll be damned if the finest clown I've ever seen didn't waltz around the corner from the room before mine and start hittin' on me. I'll be even more damned if I didn't hit on him back, cuz ddaaaammmmnnnn man.

If you knew....if only you knew...I know he knows...I tell him as much as I possibly can.