Man, oh man...

What the hell is wrong with this?!?
I know...

For starters...the other day, I believe it was Monday..."my guy" kissed me...three times...while my girl friend (his girlfriend) was still at work. I was babysitting for her, which I absolutely don't mind to do because her daughter is a joy to be with and even moreso to watch!
But man, the first one was a bit of a shock. I saw it coming about 10 seconds before it happened. We were outside smoking a cancer stick and he brings up the fact that, while I'm there, all he wants to do is jump my bones, kiss me, hug me, hold me, hold my hand, some kind of physical contact. Then he looks around and kinda side-steps behind the corner of the breezeway at their apartment...and says how he loves side-stepping. I smile and he says it again, putting emphasis on side-stepping...I'm like "hint hint!" and side-step myself, then he peeks around for show and leans in to kiss me....it lingered, it was sweet, like we'd never done it before...ahh...
The second time, I believe we were inside...a dream is mentioned, then a connection gone wrong in his head happened, and he stood up to walk past me. I thought he was just gonna walk past me, mentioning how he's compelled to save these females that come up to him asking for assistance in what-the-phuck-ever they talk about...he stops in front of me, takes the back of my neck, and meets me half way in a kiss that nearly blew me away...when he pulls back he says something about how he only wants to save me...in that voice that makes me meelllttt.....
The third time...we were back outside, and I'd ducked back in that little corner between railing and door, behind the corner of that breezeway...hell, it's comfortable. He looks around all dramatically for show, says something I can't quite remember because that last kiss was sssoooo dreamyyy....

I've fallen HARD for this man.
I can't climb back up...frankly I don't want to...
The ONLY thing is that he's still with my girl friend! Oy vey!

Am I crazy or stupid or vulnerable or anything like that for still loving him? I didn't do anything to deserve the break up, and he knows this. He KEEPS bringing up how he can't stand the fact that he even did it to begin with...
How he realizes he made the biggest mistake he's made in a lloooonngg time...
I think it's flattering. I'm wearing him down, big time!

Friday, "my guy" and my girl friend and I went out to see her friend's band play at a local little venue...Saturday, we went to a night club inside a hotel here. I thought I looked nice Friday, and I did (I wore what I wore on the night "my guy" asked me out), but my girl friend outshined me as usual. Saturday, even though she outshined me again, I was still looking niiice. We both kinda had corsets on, even though mine was technically a line bra...and semi-see-thru...lacy...nice. I wore a see-thru shirt over it, but seeing as it was black-on-black, you couldn't really see anything. I had the top button of the shirt undone all night, but when we got back to their place (because that night club was dull as hell), I undid a second button. I was hot, man! Burning up, nearly sweaty...you know that nice little sheen of sweat that makes anyone glisten? Yeah, that. With the second button undone, it helped a little bit....you could also see the top of the line bra. I thought it was sexy...
Let's just say he complimented me that night. ;o)

I have more up my sleeve, by the way...
Hopefully I can go over there later today, like...when she's not there. See how well he can restrain himself with just me there, alone with him...
If he kissed me three times within like, an hour...heh...

Sorry, I'm feeling slightly vengeful against my girl friend for actually snagging my man, no matter how much they both thought they might be meant for each other...I don't care about that shyt...I just want him back.

He asked me yesterday why it's so easy to fall in love with him. Asked me why I fell in love with him. I told him first off that I fell in love with him back in 2005 when we worked together at the haunted house where we first met. I can tell he liked that answer because of the "aww"s I got. But my first reaction was ".......uhh heh....wow...." because it was a shock! The first thing he said to me on the phone was "I have a question..." I said "I might have an answer..." and he said "Why did you fall in love with me?" That was a complete shock. He said the question isn't against me, because all these females keep falling for him. He wanted to turn whatever it was off...he also said he didn't want to turn it off for me, just for everyone else.
My second reaction to that question was "Well, for starters, you're gorgeous!" Because...well...he is! But that's not entirely why I fell in love with him. That's just the first and most obvious reason that popped into my head. He's gorgeous. Next up is that he has an amazing sense of humor. Then, he's extremely easy to talk to, so outgoing, courteous and caring and respectful (to those who deserve it...if you're cool, ya know, easy going, not out for drama or anything)...so many reasons why I love him so much.
When we get back from eating, my mother and I, I'm gonna call/text him and see what's up for the day...see if I can't bop on over there for a while...

For now, though, I'm gonna end this before I make it too long.